This christmas im puttin a mistle toe in my back pocket so all the l3itches that hate me can kiss my a$$. Keep this going!

@#!*@ is like snow...Its always fun 2 play in, u never know when its gonna cum and only some of it is clean enough to eat

A condom tells a tampon you always stop my buisness for 1 week,the tampon says yea but when u fvck up i lose my job for 9 months!

A woman is using a hair dryer between her legs when her husband walks in & asks "What are you doing?" She says "Heating your dinner"

Some Beg Some Borrow Some Lead Some Follow Some Bring Joy Some Bring Sorrow But all the Best SUCK & SWALLOW!

Why do hunters make better lovers? They go deeper in the bush, they shoot more than once, and they always wanna eat their prey!

A wise man once said "u shuld treat ur woman like ur vacuum cleaner" Wen she stops suckn replace the fvckin bag!

This sex,is sex,how sex,u sex,keep sex, a sex,dumb sex, #*^sex, busy sex, 4 sex, 20 seconds. now read this again without using sex

2 movie tickets $10 2 drinks $5 1 tub extra butter popcorn $4 1 condom $2 finds out she swallows PRICELESS

Homedepot has a new color its called blonde its not to bright and easy to spread

Givin head is like eatin sunflower seeds put it in your mouth suck it get the nut then spit it out :P

4 old ladies are layin out naked in the front yard of a nursing home they placed a sign sayin yard sale for retired prostitutes