Went to the doctor for my yearly physical.
The nurse starts with certain basics.

How much do you weigh?' she asks. '135,' I say.
The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 195.

The nurse asks, 'Your height?' '5 foot 4,' I say.
The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5' 1'.

She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.

'Of course it's high!' I scream, 'When I came in here I was tall
and slender! Now I'm short and fat!'

She put me on Prozac.