To whom it may concern,

The dancing turkey has been kidnapped. If you want it returned safely before Thanksgiving Day, then 1,000,000 LadderBux need to be deposited into Rhonda's account immediately.

(Please note: Rhonda should not be suspected of or incriminated for this crime. It is purely coincidental that we need the LadderBux in her account.)

If you fail to comply with the above directive, then... well, have you seen the recent Sarah Palin interview? Yeah, it's the one showing the turkeys being slaughtered in the background; you get the idea.

Signed,
The Grinch that stole the dancing turkey