As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a
GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM.

"Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself. But desperate, he
calls them up and subscribes to the 3-day /10 pound weight loss
program.

The next day there's a knock at his door, and when he answers, there
stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old young lady dressed in nothing but air and some
Nike running shoes with a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me!"
Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles
later,huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with
her.

After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like
the way this company does business!" The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same
thing happens. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10lb. as
promised. He callsthe company and orders their 5- day /20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most
stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing
nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me, you can
have me." He's out the door after her like a shot.

This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her,
but when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze.

For the next four days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight,
on the fifth day, he weighs himself and found he has lost another 20
lbs, as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to
order the 7-day / 50 pound program.
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years"

The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds a muscular guy standing
there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads....,

"If I catch you, you're mine."