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  • HEART HEALTHY FREEWARE TO INSTALL View
      by shani1243 on May 30, 2002 at 11:33:51 PDT

    HEART HEALTHY FREEWARE TO INSTALL
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Customer Service (CS) Rep. : Yes, Ma'am, how can I help you today?
    Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install LOVE. Can
    you guide me through the process?
    CS Rep. : Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
    Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install
    now. What do I do first?
    CS Rep.: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART
    ma'am?
    Customer: Yes I have, but there are several other programs running right
    now. Is it okay to install while they are running?
    CS Rep. : What programs are running ma'am?
    Customer: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and
    RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
    CS Rep. : No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your
    current operating . It may remain in your permanent memory, but it
    will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite
    LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However,
    you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those
    programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those
    off ma'am?
    Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
    CS Rep. : My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do
    this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have
    been completely erased.
    Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is
    that normal?
    CS Rep. : Yes. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for
    the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?
    Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
    CS Rep. : Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to
    begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.
    Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?
    CS Rep. : What does the message say?
    Customer: It says 'ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS.' What
    does that mean?
    CS Rep. : Don't worry, ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the
    LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run
    on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in
    nontechnical terms it means you have to 'LOVE' your own machine before it
    can 'LOVE' others.
    Customer: So what should I do?
    CS Rep. : Can you pull down the directory called 'SELF-ACCEPTANCE'?
    Customer: Yes, I have it.
    CS Rep. : Excellent. You're getting really good at this.
    Customer: Thank you.
    CS Rep. : You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to
    the 'MYHEART' directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and
    ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The will overwrite any conflicting files
    and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete
    VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle
    bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
    Customer: Got it! Hey, My HEART is filling up with new files. SMILE.MPG is
    playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE and
    CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?
    CS Rep. : Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything
    gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You
    should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go.
    Customer: Yes?
    CS Rep. : LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to
    everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they
    will return some similarly cool modules back to you.
    Customer: I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your name?
    CS Rep. : You can call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as The Great
    Physician, but most call me God. Most people feel all they need is an annual
    check-up to stay heart-healthy, but the manufacturer (Me) suggests a
    schedule of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency. Put another way, keep
    in touch.........
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take
    our breath away.


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